#they are so fucking self centered is like they never grew up at all. like kids.

[beartes22]

Starting to watch girls. I can’t stand Hannah, I don’t understand Marnie, jessa is fascinating and shohannah (?) needs more screen time.

Also, why is Hannah always naked? And why is Adam allergic to shirts?? He’s so weird. Everytime he starts talking or having sex with Hannah it’s so uncomfortable. Very cringey. Are they….people like…get turn on by things like this or are they just out weirding the other?

[arijackz]

PICK A CARD: The ☆Glow-Up☆ 2024 Has Planned For you

♠︎ “At bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

Disclaimer: This is a general reading, take what resonates. 

p1 → p2 ↙︎ p3 → p4

✧ Pile One ✧ (queen of cups, 5oC rev., 10oC, the chariot, the magician, 4oS)

Release.

➣ The central theme of this glow-up is inner fulfillment. You are on a journey of true self-love. The queen of cups is sitting proudly at the front of the spread. Major water energy here. You are unraveling emotional trauma down to your roots and reevaluating past attachments and burdens with the six of cups.

➣ I picture floodgates opening, allowing all of the pent-up emotional turmoil to release and finally free you on a deep psychophysiological level. You released something, an attachment or mindset that was set in motion during your formative years that was hindering your ability to hold compassion for yourself.

➣ Shuffling my music, "Daddy Issues" by the Neighbourhood came on. I also saw the hierophant while shuffling the cards. You experienced a lot of undervaluing and emotional neglect in your home. Emotions in your home were taboo and possibly even punished.

➣ I feel like the people around you growing up, were either always dissatisfied with you in some way or made you feel small. Since this is a group reading, it is hard to word this without excluding a large chunk of the audience, but some of you grew up in a home situation where any form of outward self-love or expression was met with a lot of negativity and ridicule. 

➣ This forced you into hiding your true self which groomed you into a mental space full of self-criticism and doubt. In your mind, you were unwanted or inherently broken in some way and deserved less. The way you were treated created deep emotional wounds in your young psyche which made it hard to feel satisfaction within yourself or with the outer world.

➣ With the five of cups, I get the sense that you had felt you were in a desert and unable to fill any of your cups so to speak. Baby, that’s coming to an end. The ten of cups is at the center of your spread with a big ass RAINBOW touching corner to corner. The drought is over. The dark days are over. The sun is shining and you can taste hope again. 

➣ On this self-love journey, you are currently grieving (releasing) a degraded perception of yourself along with any beliefs that inhibit you from feeling good about your character.

➣ You are realizing just how enough you are and flushing out all of the poison that was crammed in your head about being inadequate. You are freeing yourself from the chains of feeling unworthy of a good life.

➣ You will find true beauty in every corner of you. Beauty in your laugh, beauty in how you dance, beauty in how you take care of yourself, beauty in what you care about, inner beauty that cannot be taken from you or scaled down. You will nurture your inner world, thus adding color to your outer world.

➣ During this major life-changing period, your view of reality will flip in a way you never thought imaginable. Life will feel worth living again. Your music will move you more and the swift pass of wind will invigorate you with new ideas for creative projects that will propel you forward to lifelong prosperity.

➣ I’m hearing 🎵 “… I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so proud of you” from Make Me Proud by Drake. Congratulations babe, you just broke a fucking karmic cycle. 10 of cups, following the 5 of cups??? You have graduated from a dark knight of the soul and are now approaching new, abundant energy.

➣ The universe is proud of you. Your ancestors are proud of you. Your inner child is proud of you. Your God(s) is proud of you. All of the cells in your body are proud of you. You have released something cosmically within you. Please hug yourself and have a good cry because you are doing something you never believed you could. Your hopes and dreams are unfolding.

➣ Get ready to make your daydream your reality.  With the chariot, you’re prepping to TAKE AWWFF BABY. The release of this blockage has raised your energetic vibration and is ushering bountiful opportunities into your life, new passions, new ideas, and new connections. 

➣ Your newfound faith in yourself is going to give you the courage to go out and experience life. Most importantly you will find satisfaction in the mundane. Every frame of your day will be brighter and feel better. You have gone from 5 empty cups to an eternally flowing fountain. Take the time to thank yourself for all of the hard work you put in to get here. 

➣ Advice: Extend yourself grace. During this period, you will have enlightening moments that will unlock pieces of the puzzle surrounding your trauma and a lot more will make sense and become easier to process. 

➣ However, as the flawed humans we are, we tend to make sense of something and then turn around and beat ourselves up for not realizing it sooner. Or, minimizing our pain and criticizing our past selves for not doing more about it because hindsight truly is a dirty dawg. No that is not how it works. 

➣ That’s like when you were in school and the teacher would start bullying you for not understanding a subject. YOU HAVE A DEGREE??? I’m fourteen?? Of course, you can say it's simple when you have already “graduated” and learned from it, not when you’re in the middle of experiencing it.  You gained clarity during this tower moment and can now see the bigger picture and liberate yourself. 

➣ Younger you fought to make your way through the fog and deserves grace because you would not be here today without your younger self’s perseverance. Forgive yourself for the time it took to get here and see the beauty in your evolution throughout the journey.

➣ Also, drink plenty of water and get rest!! It’s Pisces season, and a Pisces new moon is coming too. Most of your trauma will unravel while you’re unconscious. Please get plenty of rest and hydrate. This pile has Cancer/4th house energy written all over it. Mother yourself during this period. Clean your room, make your favorite foods, watch cheesy movies, and splurge on special skin care. Pamper yourself. okay I'm done. KISSES.

"My consciousness has outgrown this vessel"

✧ Pile Two ✧ (4ofS, the tower, the wheel of fortune, the emperor, the lovers, judgment, 7ofW, ace of wands)

Life's gotta always be messing with me (you wanna see the light) Can't they chill and let me be free? (So do I) Can't I take away all this pain? (You wanna see the light) I try to every night, all in vain, in vain

Justice.

➣ I asked for a song to explain the central theme of your reading and I got "Freak on a Leash" by Korn. I get the feel that one of the main struggles of your life path is unfair judgment. People are quick to create a false narrative of you and run off with it.

➣ If you read my last PAC, “What is most alluring about you”, you may have chosen pile 2 or 3. With the seven of wands, you are constantly under attack.

➣ Take what resonates but I see a few scenarios. People may be quick to paint you as a bad person without getting to know you. Your public reputation was heavily influenced by rumors from people who intentionally wanted you to be disliked. People will take something small, blow it out of proportion, and try to impose it as a character flaw. Oh, you don’t eat the crust on your sandwich? How wasteful! There are starving kids out there, you’re so inconsiderate!! and then everyone else in the room who claims to not like you (but are truly your biggest fans) are oooing, ahhing, and egging that hating ass bitch on. 

➣ I’m seeing a bus. You may have been betrayed and thrown under the bus a few times before. This is the pile of my Lilith placements. Your power is your ability to garner attention, both good and bad. You attract a lot of envy. The ugliest emotion, in my opinion. It’s partners in crime with greed. 

➣ For some of you, I am getting the message that all of this underserved hate has sent you into a dark mental space and driven you to take an attempt on your life. And if you like my messages or my readings please believe me when I say this,

 I know you are meant for greatness. I picked up on your energy and you found this reading for a reason. Just like the Universe and everything within it, we go through cycles. And I know this is a long, painful cycle but it will come to an end and you will get out of this darkness. From the bottom of my heart, I feel your importance and I am happy you are here to share this moment with me. Keep swimming, I support you, the Universe supports you. The sun is rising and is offering you a new beginning.

➣ In this dark period in your life, the negative attention may have outweighed the good. I see a theme of being outcasted and isolated. Severe bullying. For some, even abuse. Like pile one, you have gone into hermit mode and isolated yourself from the unfair judgment of the world. 

➣ But head up muffin, the scales are balancing, and the wheel of judgment is turning in your favor. Following the wheel of fortune, you got the fucking emperor!!! You will come out of this on top. The people who kicked you while you were down will have to swallow their pride and kneel to shine your shoes while you sit rightfully on the throne. The public scrutiny you face needs to balance itself out karmically.

➣ Think Megan Thee Stallion. I won’t bring up any of her business, but if you've been keeping up with social media, there is a good chance you are well aware of it. That woman has gone through the unimaginable, one traumatic event following the other all while facing an obscene amount of public scrutiny. She had to go into solitary and off the internet to rebuild her life. But guess what??? MY GIRL STAYS ON TOP>>>>> After all the bullshit she endured, she’s coming out on the top of the charts, brand deals with major conglomerates, she is the people’s princess.

➣ That’s going to be you. You have dealt with a lot of injustice in your life, now you’re coming out of your “rehabilitation” and all of the people who spent the better half of their day attempting to tear you down will have to watch your rise like a phoenix and fucking weep.

➣ People were constantly taking from you , now the universe (whatever you want) is preparing to give you the power to replace what you have lost tenfold. Ace of wands, I see that life is handing you the metaphorical talking stick. The king stick. You are being blessed with a flame in your belly (activated solar plexus chakra) and the chance to completely reinvent yourself. 

➣ There is a lot of king and authority messages here, the ball is in your court. You are being released from the shackles of public perception and these next few months will be filled with inspiration and willpower to prove everybody wrong and showcase your strength.  I feel like a good chunk of this group will get chances to be in positions of authority or importance. 

➣ This is going to sound silly but I got this exaggerated imagery of a mean person calling you poor and ugly but the next year you drive past them in a Bugatti with their sugar boo in the passenger seat. HELLOOOO.

➣ With the lovers, I see you are coming in union with what is rightfully yours. In the grand scheme of cosmic law, you are owed good fortune and it is on its way. With the tower, I see an explosion and people fleeing. You’re going to pop out stronger than ever and that’s going to scare people cause whatever superiority they got from painting you as inferior is going to blow away and their true scummy nature is going to be seen. 

➣ After this, there may even be people who pretend to be your friends and claim they supported you all along. Have faith in your discernment. I have faith in your discernment. It will all be okay pookie.

➣ Advice: Just keep swimmin' my love. <3

"The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth."

✧ Pile Three ✧ (queen of wands, knight of pentacles, 6oC, page of pentacles, 10oW, 3oW, the hermit)

It's in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I'm a woman Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Awaken.

➣ Regardless if you’re a woman, a man, somewhere in between, or none of the above, you are approaching a newfound understanding of your sexuality. For some of you, it is a full-blown sexual awakening. 

➣ Some people here are realizing their sex appeal, others are coming to terms with their lack of sexual attraction, some are learning what they like in sex and what they’re attracted to. Yes bae, all of it; the whole spectrum of sexual exploration is here.

➣ There is an emphasis on attraction to yourself. You will see a huge shift in your physical appearance. Yes, your style will change but the main reason for this glow up is because you shifted the perception of yourself into a higher light. You’re allowing yourself to feel desirable and embracing the aspects of yourself you once shunned. 

➣You will carry yourself in a higher regard and this will open doors for you. Look into the mirror and give yourself a nice smack on the ass. Your self-esteem is sexy.

➣ Pile one is on a watery emotional self-love journey, this pile is all about fire and finding out where sexuality and passionate relations fit into your life. 5th house (flings, passions, hobbies), 8th house (sex and rebirth), 9th house (adventure, connecting with your soul tribe).

➣ I asked for a song to tie up this message in a cute little bow and I got the 639 HZ frequency. This is the frequency of love, radiation, and positive energy. It is the frequency of the heart. The heart chakra is opening significantly during this glow-up.

➣ You are opening yourself to adventure and sending a high vibe out into the ether. I see a sunflower and the queen of wands is decked out in bright yellow, you are stepping into the spotlight and attracting a lot of attention. I would say Venusian attention because the aura here is very romantic and collaborative. It's like the universe is spraying you with extremely magnetic pheromones and having opportunities run at you.

➣ You are going to get a lot of offers. Love offers, career offers, party invitations, you’re going to be involved with exclusive circles. You are realizing your self-worth and now you’re attracting things and people who also see value in you.

➣ This isn’t going to resonate with everyone, but I sense that for a few of you, there is going to be a reconnection with a past lover or a past friend from your childhood (or just the past in general). I also sense a theme of using your attractiveness and people’s attraction to you to your benefit. Somehow monetize your appeal. 

➣ It is like you finally released your ugly duckling mentality and you woke up and went, “WOAH, what can I do with this???” Lmao you discovered you’re an undercover member of the pretty privilege club.

➣ Yeah, with the page of pentacles and the ten of wands, I’m seeing an entire life path open up for you. Your passion and fiery energy will get you places, and you’ll go on adventures exploring your opportunities with that. Some of you will even become spicy content creators or do some risque sex work. Orrrrrr just venture into a career path you weren’t courageous enough to do before. 

➣ You’re a giant magnet energetically right now (I mean c’mon, 639 HZ???) you’re attracting a lot of romantic suitors. But watch out, they’re not all good suitors.

➣ I pulled another card and got Justice in reverse. Some people will try to get over on you. Also, the person on the justice card looked strangely untrustworthy when I flipped it over. Once again, practice your discernment.

➣ Your romantic and passionate life is taking off and it's going to be extremely exciting, especially if you are coming out of a period of stagnancy. However, with the 3 of wands and the hermit, the cards remind you to remain centered and plan bigger. Your passion, attractiveness, and sexuality will amount to more than hookups and shallow relationships if you invest in yourself wisely.

➣ You are unlocking an advantage you have in this lifetime. Open yourself to career endeavors, social networking, and creating a strong foundation for your talents and hobbies. Yes, date and have fun but don’t spend all of your energy in one place. Your attention and your energy are your greatest currencies.

➣ To expand on the hermit, I need to emphasize you are going to be getting a LOT of attention soon (I’m getting Sun-conjunct-Venus energy, is that in your natal chart or is there a transit with Venus right now or something?). You will receive more eyes on you than average and this might overwhelm you and push you into hermit mode.

➣ That is okay, let life flow. During those moments to yourself, dream big because you have the power to pull your dreams into your reality.  You will meet lifelong friends during this period. I am sensing a power trio for some of you. 

➣ Advice: To wrap up, we all know attractiveness is social currency, and you are coming into a great deal of social wealth baby. But please spend it wisely and do not lose yourself in the crowd. Keep up with your self-work and take introspective breaks away from people so you can figure out how to best utilize this awakening for you. 

➣ You look really good in red currently. Red hair. Red lips. Red clothes. Red jewelry. The color red is bringing you a lot of abundance. Okay bye. MUAH. <3

"I said mom, I am a rich man."

✧ Pile Four ✧ (page of swords, knight of cups, wheel of fortune, temperance, 7oP, the devil rev.)

Ascension.

➣ OMG I’m so sorry, I wrote a novel for the other piles but this one is going to be short. Maybe you were drawn to another pile mainly and this is your secondary pile. BUT IT’S SHORT BECAUSE ITS FUCKING AWESOME. 

➣ The song I channeled for you was named “Elniño Prodigo” and I want to say the artist is Love Record but I'm not too sure. This means child prodigy. When I was laying out your cards, I got this sense of anticipation and impatience. Theeeennn BOOM the wheel of fortune, temperance, and the seven of pentacles smack me in the face.

➣ Oh me oh my, you are chilling in the universe’s womb just BAKIN’ being prepped for a complete rebirth. You are a prodigy, you are not meant to live an ordinary life, you are being prepared for a unique journey. I know this is going to sound hard to believe because I feel like with this pile, a large portion of your life was spent in waiting.

➣ Do you feel like you are a late bloomer? If so, trust me, it is for a reason. Whatever you build in this lifetime will be built slowly and have a solid foundation because your legacy is meant to withstand the test of time and last long after you leave this Earth. This period you’ve spent waiting is you getting your ducks in a row and sowing your seeds for the next evolution of you. I said something like this in my last pac, if that's you, heyyyyyyy i’m glad your energy stuck around, i love it.

➣ Do you have Pisces or 12th House placements mixed with Saturn significance? Whatever this glow-up exactly holds for your future is a secret. It’s the universe’s divine surprise to you. I did not get any energy detailing exact events, just something big in the works behind the scenes is making its way to you. 

➣If you’re reading this pick a card there’s a good chance you’re spiritually attuned and can feel this cosmic shift happening. Something about your energy is so excited. I imagine a hyper dog being held back by a leash because it's not quite time yet.

➣ If you’re in a period where you’re not seeing any life progression and it's causing you anxiety, relax, you are on the right track and you are where you need to be. You have not wasted time, time really isn’t even fucking real. Everything is moving slowly for a reason. 

➣In this “boring” period you are meant to tap into your inner world and curate what you want your life to look like. Create vision boards, imagine your future hobbies, involve things that mentally stimulate you, keep the spark of curiosity in your life, and nurture your inner dreamer. 

➣ You are connecting with your sensitivity at this time, finding the sweet spot where your mind and heart meet, and letting it fuel your zeal for life. Get these thoughts on paper. Journal them, draw them, sing it, and call this energy into the 3D. Your life is about to have a complete 180. Maintain faith.

➣ You’re seeing a lot of synchronicities currently. Animal synchronicities and repeating numbers(111,444,222,1144,1414). You’ll find strangely personal messages in music and media. Maybe you’re seeing shapes repetitively pop up around you in your environment, like stars or eyes. 

➣ Patience is a life lesson for this pile, there is a lesson to be learned in the stillness of your life. You are mentally restless right now, slow your body down and try out parasympathetic regulation techniques to calm your racing thoughts. Go swimming, take a class, try out a new hobby. In this “womb” era, enjoy your last moments of stillness because your life turns up a notch. I’m not even getting rebirth, I’m getting BIRTH. No matter your age, your life is truly beginning in this new season.

➣ Advice: I see a lot of clouds. I see angel symbolism. You’re ascending. You’re shedding old skin, letting go of dead weight, and you’re growing wings, getting ready to experience life to the fullest. Maintain hope that your life will pick up pace and become exciting again. 

➣ Find peace in this waiting period. Listen to bird sounds!!! They are going to calm your mind and elevate you emotionally. You’re growing your wings and getting ready to take off like a bird, you should learn from the best. Okay, I love you, the universe loves you, MUAH <3.

"Your sim has gone stir-crazy!"

watching tumblr shit on my images in real time is just...

On a lighter note, I know some of these piles are heavy, I posted my first reading two days ago, and the support I received has brought so much joy into my life. I love doing this, if you like this me doing this, I'll do this forever. I am eternally grateful for all of you likes, reblogs, and comments <3

Also, some of these piles are connected, feel free to poke around and pick up on messages spread out for you. okay, I'm done. kisses! MUAH

[freyadragonlord]

Stolas and Blitz’s relationship is a really well written misunderstanding plot, and here’s why 

I didn’t exactly have bad expectations about the Full Moon episode, yet I find myself pleasantly surprised by just how well the show handled the final confrontation between Stolas and Blitz. It was perfectly tragic and, most importantly, it perfectly fits how their relationship was built up to this point.

But how did Stolas get to this point?

Stolas has been starved for love since he was a child. His father only knew how to buy Stolas’ stuff to distract him from his distress (whenever Paimon bothered to even be around). Stolas’ wife – whom he did not choose – disdained him and did not miss a chance to humiliate him. He used to have a good relationship with his daughter, even though things got more complicated as she grew up and started to realize that her parents hate each other; but having your own child love you isn’t the same as having someone love you because you are you.

And then, out of nowhere, This Guy whom he considers his first friend - someone who was at the center of one of the best memories from his childhood - sneaks into his house and tries to seduce him!! Needless to say, Stolas is taken by surprise!

He even tries to talk to Blitz at first, and asks him about his life. He wants a connection, but Blitz just kinda pushes Stolas on his bed and starts doing sexy things to him, while dodging his questions. And, well, Stolas has never had good sex before that moment! His only experience is with a woman who does not like him and whom he doesn’t like. He gets swept away! Turns out, kinky sex really does it for him, and Blitz just Keeps Going all night!

Now, we don’t get to see how Stolas reacted when he figured out that Blitz was there to steal his book. The next thing we know (which is actually the first time the audience is introduced to Stolas) is that he is determined not to let that night with Blitz be the last. And who knows, even if Blitz had an ulterior motive for that first night, Stolas could still have a chance to seduce him! But how to do that? Well, the only thing Stolas knows about Blitz is that he really seemed to be into kinky sex and dirty talk…. So, Stolas goes for that!

After a while, though, he realizes it isn’t working. Plus, as much as the sex is good, what he really wants from Blitz is romance! So, he tries changing his approach, he introduces the idea of dates, of staying at home without fucking… But every time Stolas tries to change things, Blitz is resistant.

Stolas has many flaws. He is unaware of his privilege, he can be entitled, too self-centered… but one thing he is not, at least, is clueless about his own feelings. Stolas knows he loves Blitz, he knows he wants them to be together, and so he spends a long time trying to figure out how to confess, how to convince Blitz that his feelings are sincere…

In a way, it’s all that planning that dooms him. He spends so much time thinking things over, finding the perfect words, the perfect selfless act to confess to Blitz and set him free, that he does not realize that his confession will come out of nowhere for Blitz. And that Blitz will not have had hours and hours to rehearse his own reaction!

To be fair to him, Blitz truly is spectacularly clueless – to the level that it’s difficult to understand, without knowing his history - when it comes to his own feelings…

Right, how did Blitz get to this point?

The first time Blitz met Stolas, as a child, Blitz’s father had literally sold him as entertainment, and then ordered Blitz to steal from Stolas' house. “Go make yourself useful for once.” “It’s what those rich privileged fuckers deserve.”

Blitz grows up in an environment where his own father prefers another child to him. His only worth to his dad is to be a trading card, and to be an instrument to get rich.

Blitz doesn’t grow completely without love, tho! He knows what it is like to be loved. He has a best friend, his twin sister, his mother… And then he manages to lose all three of them in one single, spectacular accident. And it was an accident! But it was also his fault. And that’s the night Blitz learns that nobody can love him for long, because he does not deserve it. Even if someone did care for him, eventually they will realize he is worthless and dangerous.

Blitz hates himself.

Still, he does what he has to do to survive, and he goes on.

Years pass, and Blitz is trying to achieve his oldest dream, the dream to be his own boss, to lead a successful business, to prove that he can do something right. He needs Stolas’ book to achieve his dream, so what? It’s what those rich privileged fuckers deserve. He can make himself useful for once.

Does Blitz understand that it’s not Stolas himself who bought him all those years ago, but rather his father? It doesn’t really matter in the end, the only thing that’s important is that he knows that if he distracts Stolas enough, it’s not that hard to steal from him. If he sells himself, he can get anything out of Stolas.

The sex an accident, in the end. Stolas suggests Blitz is there to seduce him (Stolas is joking, but Blitz doesn't realize that), so Blitz goes for that. He bites Stolas’ neck to distract him from the theft, and Stolas reacts to that! Blitz can use this! He just happens to encourage Stolas when Stolas talks dirty to him, he doesn’t know he’s the one planting the idea in Stolas’ brain.

And Blitz could leave Stolas tied up and flee with the book, but at the end he feels bad. He decides to fuck Stolas after all, and well… That wasn’t so bad. He was supposed to do it “real fast”, but ends up spending the whole night!

Still, what if the sex was good? Stolas is still an entitled and powerful prince. And Stolas’ behavior in the following months only confirms that the other demon is just using him! And when Stolas’ actions start to change, well, surely that’s just some new kink, some new game…

Blitz constantly confirms his own biases, and he is incapable of seeing beyond them. He expects to be used because he has been used so many times, ever since he was a child. He doesn’t expect to be loved, because he doesn’t believe anyone can love him.

And if he starts to enjoy the time he spends with Stolas, at least sometimes, well….. That’s just the good sex. Plus, he feels powerful, when he’s fucking Stolas. Not only because Blitz dominates him in bed, but also because this is an arrangement he entered of his own free will, and he’s the one directly benefiting from it.

And! Isn’t it easier this way??? Relationships are messy! This arrangement, tho, no feelings involved, at all! He can push Stolas around as much as he wants, and Stolas will let him.

(Stolas cannot get hurt, after all.)

(He can get hurt??)

Blitz has many flaws. Being clueless about his feelings, and other people’s feelings, is maybe his biggest flaw. Stolas’ confession comes out of nowhere from him. He is confused. Nobody can love him, so it is a game, right?

It’s not a game. Where did this “confession” come from? He’s mad now. Stolas broke the rules, Stolas is using him again, somehow, Stolas… Stolas is crying.

It’s not a trick.

Their whole relationship has been a huge misunderstanding since day 1, and Blitz only just realized.

And Stolas sent Blitz away before he had time to realize, as well.

[confusedmuggle]

Please

Bucky Barnes x fem!dom!reader

Summary: Bucky and you are just roommates right? So why can’t you get the image of him pleading to cum out of your head?

Part 1 - Needy Boy

a/n : a part 2 to Needy boy, can be read on its own though. Thank you so much for all the love on the first part! here is the second part, please comment any ideas for this fic or others, and or other things you want me write! Thank you, enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

just roommates. just roommates. at least that’s what you keep telling yourself. After Bucky fell asleep that night, you went back to your room to go to bed. It was a restless night, but you finally fell asleep, and by the time you woke up, Bucky had left already. He’d left a note saying he got called in early

but it wasn’t just that time. The next two days you didn’t see Bucky, not even once. You tried to think of why he would be avoiding you. He had certainly seemed to enjoy himself that night.

You huffed as you plopped on your bed. The past two days had been busy for sure, but you missed the broody hot man that you usually had the pleasure of seeing at least once a day. Your mind drifted as you laid there, going back to that night

“y/n…ngh..”

your thighs clamped together as you remembered the sounds he had made. “Fuck it. Bucky hasn’t been home for awhile anyways…”

you slipped your hands down your body. One went to cup your breast and the other down to circle the wet spot on your panties.

“mph…”

it had been so long since you’d had the pleasure to touch yourself, either too busy or too tired to be able to. you slipped your panties down your thighs and completely off, tossing them away to who knows where. You began to circle your clit and bit your lip, stifling a loud moan

“ngh..”

your breathing became heavier. you opened your eyes and -

fuck. “Bucky? “

you snatched the blanket and threw it over your body quickly

“what the hell are you doing here?!”

Bucky stood in the doorway of your room, unmoving. his gaze going from your exposed self to your face once you put the blanket on. He moved his gaze to the floor and gulped, his Adam’s apple bobbing

“I-well-“

you felt the blush rushing to your cheeks. How much had he really seen? “what are you doing here?”

“well I was-“ he cleared his throat, clearly nervous. You noticed his hands moving to cover his crotch, and how he was trying to make it look like he was just clasping his hands

“I was going to ask what you wanted for dinner but- “

you could tell he was nervous. he was switching his weight from one foot to the other and couldn’t seem to look you in the eye

“Bucky, do you need something?” You felt awkward with his just standing there, and the heartbeat between your legs was getting harder to ignore. His presence certainly didn’t help that. Your thighs squeezed together again

“I want you. I want to taste you. Please” as he said these foods he met your eyes. He looked desperate, like a starved man. She hands over his crotch seemed to pressed against his length as he said this, like he was also getting turned on from this conversation

You froze. Was he serious? The heat between your legs only grew. You stared into his eyes, feeling your breathing get heavier as you nodded. you carefully removed the blanket from yourself, letting him see your fully naked body.

“fuck” he uttered, followed by a involuntary moan. He stumbled over to you, already pussy drunk without even getting any. he gripped your thighs like they were the only thing keeping his grounded and look pleadingly into your eyes

“I’ve never- I don’t know how-“

you cut him off

“it’s ok, i can teach you Bucky”

You gently ran a hand through his hair, making him let out a little moan and close his eyes. *she gripped his hair now, firm enough to pull slightly but not cause pain. You gently guided him towards the center of your arousel ”go on. you’ll figure it out, ok? I’ll tell you what feels good and what doesn’t. Just be gentle, and no need to rush”

“it’s so…wet” he said, an air of awe in his voice

your back arched off the bed as he began, licking a stripe up your slit. He let out a guttural groan

“you taste so good…Jesus Christ y/n”

you carefully pushed his head closer to your heat, moaning as his nose brushed up against it. Bucky, it seemed, has lost all control of himself. He was like a starved man eating his first meal in years. “oh y/n… this is so good… you’re so beautiful… ngh…”

You’d noticed by now that he was rutting himself against your mattress as he ate you out… what a needy boy. “good boy, yes… just like that” your breathing quickened as you chased your release

Bucky let out a guttural groan and his hips stuttered

you smirked. Did he really just cum from eating you out?

���don’t stop now Bucky, come on, be good”

It wasn’t long before you came on his tongue. He didn’t stop, wanting to continue tasting you, until you pushed his head away

“that’s enough for now, Bucky. Come here”

You patted the bed beside you. Bucky stood up, his pants completely leaked through from his pre and orgasm.

“Bucky, have you been avoiding me?”

sorry for the cliffhanger, but I’ll be working on part 3! ❤️❤️

[ilovedazaiosamu]

wasn’t that what you wanted? || megumi fushiguro !

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

★ • genre : angst

★ • megumi x reader !

•𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟•

october was a stressful month for megumi, including you. there were so many missions to do, to the point you both obviously didn’t have time for each other. it bothered you, but it didn’t to him. he was acting like you were nothing to him. and your relationship grew apart, as megumi could barely spare any time. you were confused. he had his day offs, but he couldn’t even spare a conversation with you.

this morning, he was in a bad mood. usually, he would do his morning routine. he didn’t this time. he was occupied on his phone, texting yuji. he was complaining to him about how annoying you were. that’s why he has been ignoring you. he didn’t wanna hear your stupid bullshit. somehow, you saw his messages with yuji. it was heartbreaking, it tore you apart. how could he say that about you? you mean, you knew you were a chatterbox, but you thought he didn’t mind it.

”what the fuck, [name]?”

megumi was behind you. he wanted to know why you were on his phone. megumi felt so much anger in him. a little piece of resentment was building up inside him. he snatched his phone away from you.

“is that what you really.. think of me?”

you asked, trying to bottle up the surge of emotions in you. you wanted to ask why, so you could fix it. you wanted to know why. you were befuddled. why would he be with you if you were annoying.

“you weren’t supposed to see that. what the fuck were you thinking? you’re so meddlesome! do you know how annoying it is to live with you?! constantly being questioned, especially nagged! you know what? i’ve had enough of this. just leave. i don’t wanna look at you right now.”

now i was in distress. i didn’t know he had loathed me so much. i thought he still had a little bit of love in me. it looked like he didn’t. tears were staining my cheeks, as his fierce gaze was upon me.

“i thought you—“

“i don’t wanna hear it. i said leave.”

was he always this mean to you? what was stressing him out? you needed to know. but you just couldn’t. not with him ignoring you.

“i’m done, megumi! i’m done! do you know how long i’ve been holding onto this relationship for? how hard i’ve been trying to rebuild our relationship?! i’m trying, but you aren’t! just why? if i’m that annoying, why didn’t you say so? it kills me when you don’t communicate with me! i can’t do this anymore. our relationship is futile, you know why? because of this disrupted communication going on! everything would be just fine if you didn’t leave me hanging! i’m out!”

megumi was silent. through all this time, he was only thinking selfishly. he didn’t see his own mistakes, because his self centered mind only saw others’. sure, i wasn’t perfect, but i tried really hard. while he was distraught, i left. i ran outside, where the rain was pouring down on me. the clouds were crying with me. you knew it was never a good idea to bottle up your emotions. it’s like when a grasshopper comes out of its box, the others will end up escaping too. you bawled as you ran out of the building. everything was such a pain. your legs were strained, your voice too. why was it so hard to find love? to be loved?

i ended up at a cafe, where yuji was inside.

‘shit! i didn’t know he was here. i can’t get out now, i already ordered something..’ you thought to yourself as you panicked.

‘oh my god, he looked at me! shit he’s pulling out his phone.’ you knew yuji was texting megumi.

in a few seconds, megumi somehow arrived. his clothes were soaked. it looked like he was crying to. he was looking around, as if he was searching for you. you caught up on what he was doing, so you hid. you were too scared to see him. you were too embarrassed. you attempted to cover your face with your hair, but he could recognize you from a mile away, so what’s the use? he went over to your seat, and sat himself down. he had an apologetic look on his face. his nose was red, and he was blowing his nose with a tissue. it was so awkward, you felt an uncomfortable feeling in your chest.

“i’m sorry. don’t leave me, forget about everything that i said.”

megumi intertwined your fingers with his, laying his head on my shoulder. you were a little mad at him, but you smiled.

“i’m also sorry, gumi. i lashed out on you..”

you responded to him, with a sincere look on my face. my food arrived, and he kept on staring at it. you giggled at him. he was hungry but didn’t say anything.

“you should start talking more, how are we gonna avoid miscommunication if we don’t communicate?”

“yeah, maybe we should.”

megumi opened his mouth, letting you feed him your fries. he didn’t really like them, but food is food. and for the rest of the day, you both finally spent time together alone.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

★ • notes : i’ll gladly quit if this flops ! the ending is so unilateral LMAO

[fellthemarvelous]

Aziraphale hate makes my brain hurt.

Like let's be really fuckin' for real here.

Neurodivergent fans have repeatedly said that Aziraphale is autistic coded. I agree with them. I have never been diagnosed but I wonder about myself. If only I could get a doctor to take me seriously enough to test me for it, but alas, I'm a 43-year-old woman living in the good ole US of A.

Those with religious trauma have repeatedly said that they identify with him as well. I'm one of those people. I endured 12 years of Catholic schools and just as much time being taught a very black and white view of things that I've had to spend more than 20 goddamn fucking years working to unlearn.

I find that my views as a survivor of religious abuse are often dismissed because people keep wanting to say "Aziraphale doesn't have religious trauma." Yes, thank you, I get that, but unless you've been indoctrinated and brainwashed into a very black and white view of the world, you probably don't understand the kind of feelings Aziraphale's onscreen experiences evoke in so many of us. Heaven might not be real, but the feelings of "God is always watching" still stick with me today even though I no longer believe in God. I have entirely denounced Christianity because of my own personal experience, and I refuse to allow people to try and guilt me or shame me for trauma that I didn't ask for. I wasn't given a choice.

As a child I was told that God was real and always watching everything you do (just like Santa Claus) and can hear everything you say and knows everything you are thinking. Do you know what I learned to do in order to cope with this overwhelming and anxiety-inducing information as a small child? I learned to censor my thoughts. I never spoke up, and I have always felt like I was putting on a show for people because I had to be who I was told to be or I would get into trouble.

Aziraphale said "poverty is a virtue" during The Resurrectionists, and as someone who grew up in the Bible belt and went to private schools, I was taught this very same shit by the Catholic church. He learned in that very same episode that "poverty is a virtue" is actually a tool of oppression to keep the poor poor and the wealthy wealthy. I know we all watched the episode. He went into that episode believing what he said, but by the end of it he knew it was actually utter bullshit. Aziraphale is not ignorant. He's highly intelligent, and he has never been too proud to admit when he has been wrong. He accepts that the information he learned before is not matching up with reality.

And it's so obvious some of you have zero experience with that type of indoctrination because of how very little empathy you show Aziraphale for his "mistake" of "choosing Heaven over Crowley" and "making Crowley sad" so clearly Aziraphale must somehow be "abusive" and "manipulative" and "selfish" and "self-centered" because he didn't choose to run away with Crowley at the end of season two.

First of all.

FIRST OF ALL...

Aziraphale has a mind of his own.

Aziraphale is always going to try and do what is right.

Aziraphale is an angel. He's a being of love. And the reason he's so "bad" at being an angel is because he actually wants to protect humanity. He has always loved humanity. He repeatedly has to contend with what is "right" versus what is "good" and "wrong" versus "evil". Yeah, he has flaws. He's an angel, not a goddamn fucking saint. He has lived on Earth for more than 6,000 years. He has seen everything. He loves doing human things.

He's obsessed with magic. It makes him so happy. He's not very good at it...well not when he's trying to put on a show for Crowley.

He chose to learn French the hard way, so even though he knows every single language in the world, he chooses to be mediocre at French. Something that annoys and amuses Crowley at the same time.

He loves to dance even though angels aren't supposed to dance, and dancing with Crowley was what he wanted the most.

He owns a bookshop and refuses to sell any of his books because they are books he's had for as long as there have been books. He will chase customers away from his collection, and Crowley understands how much they mean to Aziraphale because he refuses to sell any when Aziraphale leaves him in charge.

He and Crowley have been speaking to each other in coded language for more than 6,000 years. They have to be very careful about what they say because Heaven and Hell are always watching.

Heaven has photographs of Crowley and Aziraphale sitting or standing together throughout history. Hell had one photo of Crowley and Aziraphale actually working together and it was Aziraphale's quick thinking and how good he actually is at sleight of hand tricks that managed to get that photo out of Furfur's hands so he wouldn't be able to turn Crowley over to the Dark Council.

Aziraphale saved Crowley from being taken to Hell again. He wasn't able to save Crowley from Hell in Edinburgh, but he sure as heck managed to save Crowley from Hell during WWII. He took Crowley to his bookshop and showed Crowley that he stole the picture from Furfur. He saved Crowley.

You get that, right?

Aziraphale SAVED Crowley.

People always talk about how it's "always Crowley saving Aziraphale" because apparently heroic acts are only heroic when they are grand gestures. The sleight of hand wasn't heroic at all, am I right? It wasn't sparkly and showy. It wasn't interesting enough, therefore not heroic. At least that's all I'm hearing when people start with their "blah Aziraphale deserves to suffer because I have no imagination or ability to understand the media in front of me blah", and all these reasons he deserves to suffer is because Crowley almost got hurt.

Aziraphale did that without flinching and I watch that part closely every single time. He's not scared for himself. He's scared for Crowley, and he managed to hold onto that photograph. He did not fail Crowley. He protected Crowley.

And so here's another thing that we like to point out. The way that Aziraphale, an angel who is effeminate and male presenting, an angel who is soft and full of love, an angel who is kind and forgiving because he has empathy and compassion, is somehow painted as abusive and manipulative. He's not violent, but he could easily fuck up your world. He doesn't use his powers. We have no idea how powerful he is because we only ever see him do small acts. He's used to hiding. It's the only way he has ever been able to protect Crowley.

And I'm not saying that Aziraphale has actually saved Crowley before means that Crowley hasn't also saved Aziraphale. Like, you get that those are not mutually exclusive and their relationship is not transactional, right? They have spent their entire existence protecting each other but never actually getting to be together because Heaven and Hell are always watching.

Yeah, Crowley fell. We all know this. We are aware of this. He was the serpent of Eden. He gave humanity the knowledge of free will.

But what we don't talk about is what Aziraphale gave humanity.

What did he give them?

We all know what it is!

Let's say it together!

He gave Adam and Eve his flaming sword because it was dangerous outside the garden and Eve was pregnant and she was already having a really bad day. He showed them compassion and gave them his extremely powerful angelic weapon so they would stand a chance on the outside of the garden. He gave humanity the gift of compassion. It's just unfortunate that his flaming sword became a weapon of War.

And then what did he do after that?

Ooooh, yeah, that's right.

God asked him about it and he straight up lied to her and pretended he had no idea where he'd managed to misplace it. She didn't say anything after that. He told Crowley the truth though. He told Crowley the truth even though Crowley fell.

Yeah, we know Aziraphale has done some really fucking questionable things. He and Crowley both suck at passing for human in front of observant people like Nina. They're not human. They are still learning, but they managed to experience human history together despite being on opposite sides and their experiences with humanity are what has shaped them into the compassionate and loving duo they are now. One of them is not better from the other.

This, my friends, is what we call meeting in the middle. It's why shades of gray is so important. Aziraphale constantly breaks the rules. Crowley refused to play by Heaven's rules. It's the reason he fell. He doesn't play by Hell's rules either. These two dorks figured out how to cancel each others' miracles out throughout human history in order to have more time learning about humanity and each other because working all day every day sucks when there are so many new things to learn and experience with the people you love.

We know Crowley and Aziraphale both love each other. Neither of them are good at hiding the hearts stars in their eyes.

But here's what's really fucking annoying about the Aziraphale hate.

Aziraphale was already crying when Crowley grabbed him and kissed him. Aziraphale is trying so very hard to do the right thing. He loves Crowley. He does. But he also has a duty to humanity, and he has taken that job very seriously since the creation of Adam and Eve. He sent them out into the world with a flaming sword so they would have a chance at surviving beyond the walls of the garden.

And he knows that Something Terrible is going to happen and he spent all of second season trying to figure out what that Something Terrible was while trying to have some sort of more honest and open relationship with Crowley, but again, they aren't human, they are a demon and an angel approaching life from opposite sides who met in the middle and fell in love with humanity together.

He wants more than anything to tell Crowley how he feels about him, but he wants to do something grand for Crowley because Crowley has always been grand and dramatic and sexy and a little bit scary.

Crowley is impulsive and has a temper and sometimes says the wrong thing but he has always trusted Aziraphale because Aziraphale gave him a chance even after he fell. Aziraphale chose to shelter him instead of smiting him while they stood on top of that wall. He knew he was supposed to kill Crowley, but oops, he gave his sword away to the humans so he didn't really have anything to kill him with and Crowley is the one who created nebulas. The Pillars of Creation is Crowley's work and Aziraphale was there to witness that, but he watched Crowley more than he watched the nebula. He witnessed the pure joy on Crowley's face when he said "let there be light" as a nebula full of colors exploded before their eyes. He was fascinated by Crowley.

But Aziraphale is going back to Heaven even though he has made it perfectly clear he absolutely has no desire to go back to Heaven. He told the Metatron this during their conversation. He spoke these words out loud. They exist.

But then The Metatron said this....

The Metatron. The very same angel who told Aziraphale in season one "to speak to me is to speak to the Almighty." He's the boss. He's the big guy. He's used to existing as a giant head and he had to give himself a body so he wouldn't stand out on Earth. And he knows that Aziraphale and Crowley have been working together since the beginning. He knows they worked together to prevent Armageddon in season one, and now he's made it clear he knows they were working together long before that. And let's face it, Aziraphale really wants to know what this Something Terrible is that Gabriel is running from so he can try to prevent it from happening.

It makes sense that he would want to take Crowley to Heaven with him because he would be able to keep Hell from getting their hands on him again. Aziraphale hates it in Heaven. He doesn't want to go, but Something Terrible is happening and Metatron isn't taking no for an answer, and maybe Heaven won't be so bad if Crowley is there with him. At least they can fix Heaven together.

But Crowley can't go back. We all get that. We don't blame him for saying no. It doesn't change anything.

Something Terrible is about to happen and Aziraphale has to figure out what it is. He wants to change Heaven.

He is fully aware that Heaven sucks. He still has faith in God. His faith isn't in Heaven. He deserted his platoon in season one and threw himself back to Earth so he could figure out how to make sure the war between Heaven and Hell doesn't happen.

But see, here's the thing. Heaven is at the top. Heaven has all the resources. Heaven is responsible for the creation of Hell. Heaven is empty and Hell is overpopulated. Aziraphale knows this. Crowley knows this. It's obvious every time we see either place. Both sides are desperate to go to war and will not hesitate to destroy humanity in the process. This is the opposite of what Crowley and Aziraphale want for humanity. If anyone can change Heaven, it's Aziraphale. He's the only one up there who gives a shit about humanity as far as we know. No one else is going to speak on humanity's behalf.

Some of us are so busy getting mad at Aziraphale for going back to Heaven and giving Crowley a Big Sad. Newsflash: Crowley is not the main character of Good Omens. Aziraphale and Crowley are equals, yet we wanna hold Aziraphale to higher standards because he's an angel, and when he makes mistakes it's proof that he's the bad guy.

Holy mother of all things that trigger my religious trauma, let me tell you. I spent my entire life hating myself every time I made mistakes. I've had to teach myself that just because I mess up sometimes doesn't mean I'm bad. It means I'm human. I still struggle with it. I probably always will. So when you say that Aziraphale deserves to be punished for breaking Crowley's heart, you not only ignore that Aziraphale's heart is also broken, you're saying he deserves to be punished for doing what he thinks is right.

Wanting to change Heaven for the better is not a bad thing.

And some of y'all wanna see him suffer for going back into the lion's den that is Heaven, knowing that he is already an outcast, that they have already tried to kill him once, knowing that he is a deserter, that he has been lying to Heaven about a lot of things, and you still think he's blinded by Heaven? You think he's just so naive and that's the only reason he's going back. He doesn't show his emotions the same way Crowley does so it means he doesn't care as much. He's expected to consider Crowley's feelings over his own when making choices. Like holy shit if all of that hasn't defined my experience as a woman with religious trauma in this fucking society. He's expected to be subservient to Crowley and if he doesn't do what Crowley wants then he's being unreasonable and illogical.

What the actual fuck, y'all.

Like seriously.

I'm sick of this bullshit. I had to step away from this fandom because of how toxic some people in this fandom are. It's not chasing me away, but the fact that I chose to hang out in a a more toxic fandom that is already notorious for being really toxic over a fandom that claims to be more open-minded and welcoming should probably tell you something.

It gave me a lot of perspective, and yeah, I'm still gonna speak up against the bullshit Aziraphale hate.

People are entitled to their opinions, but the Aziraphale hate isn't an opinion. It's just ableist, misogynistic garbage. At this point we all know y'all say these extreme things about Aziraphale because y'all get more joy out of the harm and alienation it is causing others.

Keep being loudly wrong, but if you think I'm not entitled to challenge shitty-ass, harmful, hateful discourse, bite my ass.

I'm not the one who lost the plot in this fandom.

[ravencincaide]

Shhh -oh shit

Summary: You were not the kindest when someone disturbed you; especially when studying for finals. Or the time you shushed a talking bastard in the library's quiet section, not realizing who said ‘bastard’ was. 

Pairing: Student!reader x Chuuya Nakahara. 

Inspired by Sweetober prompt 29: Texting/email 

Warnings: Cursing, random Chuuya fluff, minimal edits

Enjoy this little bit of sweetness~ 

Shh

You couldn’t understand how ignorant one had to be in order to speak on the phone in the library. How completely self absorbed to dare do it in the quiet section. Especially amidst final weeks- when it was crawling full of crying and desperate students who queued from the library's opening to the very last second before its closing. Studying reference literature, begging librarians to expedite archive requests just a little bit faster. Buying seniors notes and pleading for tutoring sessions.

“ If this is another goddamn attempt at wasting my time with your bloody stupidity….” the male voice carried loudly, cutting through the otherwise silent section of the library but for the gentle tipp-tapp of keyboard keys or barely hearable flickering of pages. In contrast to those monotone sounds, his voice boomed like thunder, completely breaking your concentration. With each syllable past his lips you could feel your understanding slipping away. 

Why no one said anything was beyond you. 

It was so bluntly obvious that this man was disturbing everyone in the surrounding area. Yet either he was oblivious enough not to see it, or self centered enough not to care. Neither of which sat well with you. As if to make matters worse, his voice grew louder and louder as he drew nearer, now it was not only the phone conversation that was disturbing you, but also the stomps of his feet against the carpet clad floor. “I’ll have you die.. I–” 

“ Shh!” you snapped, making a low, angry hiss towards the owner of the voice somewhere in the distance behind you. You saw the head of a student opposite you snap up and give you a quick, earnest grateful smile. However, that smile quickly faded as the student paled a sickly shade of white before he quickly snapped his head back down, staring at the study books in front of him. His reaction puzzled you, but the blessed silence made you ignore that fact in favour of your studies. 

However the peaceful silence did not last long. 

“ Goddamn it! I swear I’m going to kill you myself this time, you good for nothing, perverted, enemy of all—” 

Slamming your fist into the table you finally lost your patience, your voice, the ‘shh’ resonating through the area. An angry echo which bounced off the walls and furniture throughout the entire second floor of the library’s silent section; “Its a goddamn library so for crying out loud, can you shut the fuck— oh shit” you cut yourself off as your eyes landed on the man with the phone pressed to his ear. 

It was him; it couldn’t be- shouldn’t be, and yet it was. 

You would recognize that ginger hair and black coat anywhere. The piercing eyes which searched the sea of students before they landed onto you, and stared you down mockingly. The cocky grin which matched the handsome boyish expression. And that top hat, the most memorable goddamn top hat in the entire Yokohama. You had seen that hat, and the man it belonged to, in wanted posters and news segments all over Yokohama city. 

The long and loud media warnings to never engage or provoke him. The most dangerous and bloodthirsty member of Port Mafia; Nakahara Chuuya. 

And you had not only encountered him in the most mundane place in the entire city; but also shushed him; not once, not twice but an entire three times. That is without the curse-filled scolding you unknowingly send his way for his less than adequate library manners. In other words you were a deadman walking; a soon to be corpse which currently filled the barely-comfortable study spot. Judging by the annoyance edged onto his features, it was time for you to say your goodbyes and start digging your grave. Then again, your mind reminded you all too bitterly, if you failed the upcoming exams the humiliation, loss of income and homelessness you’d face, would make you wish you were dead. 

Instead of feigning ignorance or getting up and apologizing on your hands and knees, you stared back into his face with a scowl that matched his own. It was as if you challenged him to say something. Chuuya responded with a raised eyebrow. In that instant, your mind flickered between the ‘you’re gonna be brutally murdered or worse’ and ‘ holy hell the media did not do those gorgeous blue orbs justice.’ A part of you still couldn’t grasp the fact that you were actually seeing those eyes in real life. 

You were so, so fucked. 

That sentiment was reinforced as you saw the frown on his lips turn up into something almost morbid. Chuuya’s eyes ran up and down before he rolled his eyes as the voice in the phone demanded his attention, growing so loud you could almost distinguish what it was saying from such a distance; “ I’ll get back to you, slimeball” Chuuya stated midway through slamming the phone shut and slipping it into his pants pocket.

Then he advanced towards you.

You swallowed thickly, and fixed the ginger with an even firmer stare. Then you summoned what little bravery- or insanity- you had left in you; “ Listen with all due respect Nakahara-san your future is set for life; glory, terror and all that. While us pitiful students have our lives decided by the horrors of exams which are primarily out of our control so I kindly beg you, for the love of god and anything unholy; please be quiet.” 

Chuuya stopped in front of you; an unreadable expression on his face half shaded by the tophat.You swore he looked less menacing and more entertained than moments earlier- or was it your wishful thinking? No, there definitely was a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of them; “ Whatever, fork over your phone” 

“My phone?” you asked in bewildered as you stared up at the man currently towering over you. 

At another glare, you quickly unlocked and surrendered the device to him. You watched him type something in before handing it back to you. Looking down at it, you noticed there was a new contact added in your list, listed under the simple initials NC. You glanced back up at him in question. 

The angry look was replaced by a boyish grin. To you it looked almost.. Flirty?!

 Chuuya pointed towards your phone with a gloved finger; “ I wanna know what kind of exams are scarier than a Mafia executive. Text this number when you’re done.”

Your eyes widened a little before you shook your head slightly. Your brain not able to comprehend what he was saying, your mind blanking out long enough for your mouth to speak before you had time to think; “ If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were hitting on me” you mumbled in disbelief earning yourself another cocky smirk. He really was?! 

 “ Nakahara-san I don’t think it’s–” 

“Shhh”  you heard another student hiss at you making you instantly grow silent. Before biting your lips in a feeble attempt to keep your expression neutral. You failed; the edges of your lips pulled up into a smile, barely containing the bubbly laughter readying to spill past your lips. Your expression remained  bewildered and a little shocked, while his expression remained cocky almost sweet yet so very confident. 

Who knew such a meeting could derive from a single word; a hissing of an annoyed student in the middle of the exam season in the libraries quiet section:  

Shh.

Author note: A little sweetness is what we all need some days. I hope this fic made you smile at least a little on this (very cold!) Sunday morning.

Like this? Check out Raven's Masterlist

[yuri-is-online]

Jade would be VERY pleased about finally having another club member. I would be happy to listen to him info dump while we look at mushrooms and neat nature stuff.

I let this sit in my ask box for too long but I've had this idea kicking around in my head for a while and then harveston had to go and drop that one line validating my delusions and you've given me an excuse to post it ha

notes: they/them used for Yuu, violence against animals (a bear), swearing at animals (the same bear), Yuu is unnaturally strong (enough to fight a bear), Yuu is implied to have grown up in a forest/woodsy environment, Jade typical blackmail. Other more serious fic can be found on my masterlist here.

Once upon a time, back when you first arrived in this world, you had been unsure how to feel about NRC. Castles existed back home, sure, but ones like this belonged firmly in illustrations or video games; it felt a but nauseating to walk through your wildest dreams brought to life, even if it was exciting sometimes. It was little wonder to you then that the idea of a Mountain Lover's Club was so appealing.

"Did you hike a lot back home?" Trey has that strange smile on his face that suggests you have made him tense somehow.

"Yes. I practically grew up in the woods." The flow of wind through the branches, the smell of fresh rain on the decomposing earth below, all of it wrapped you in a familiar sense of serenity even if the tree line was completely foreign to you. What are men to rocks and mountains after all? You could make yourself right at home here-

"I still don't think you should join." Trey says with all the air of a man who is certainly not telling you something, but the surprising harsh nod of agreement Riddle gives before injecting himself into the conversation convinces you more than whatever Trey had in mind likely could.

"I'm not entirely certain what they do," Riddle has never forbid you from participating in things since you and his dorm-mates brought him back to his senses," but if you want to hike it might be safer if you did it by yourself, assuming you let one of us know when you are going and when you expect to be back. It wouldn't do to have something that brings you so much joy used against you prefect, none of us want that." But he has always expressed concern when he thinks things to be unsafe, and in this case his argument was something you found yourself agreeing with. Hiking is best done at your own pace anyway, why get a club full of self-centered assholes involved in your me time? Though you did wish now they had been a bit more... specific with their concerns. Maybe outlined some of the club's scheduling, but then they would have needed to ask him and in so doing betrayed your interest.

Which would have been much less embarrassing than how Jade actually found out. Because of course he did, was there ever any doubt he would? ~~~~ There is a creek not far up the mountain path behind your dorm you like to rest at when coming back from your adventures. It's a good place to check over the photos on your camera and enjoy the last few rays of sunlight before returning to whatever mess Grim had made in Ramshackle searching for where you had moved all the tuna cans. Sometimes he joined you, and the two of you would have a little picnic up the path a bit further, but that day had not been one of those days. Nor had the day you met this particular nemesis who is staring you down from just across the creek with such a judgmental glance you would think this was a Sunday brunch and not an afternoon meander through the forest.

"The fuck do you want bitch?" You snarl and the bear indignantly sniffs as if to imply she's better than you. "Oh I'm sorry I didn't realize it was my fault your face is so fucking crooked, thought you were just born that way." She huffs again, making a big show of turning her back on you as you rush to get your equipment off and tucked safely out of reach before the skankiest grizzly you've ever met whips around and charges you shrieking something about "how dare you steal her man!!!!" and blah blah blah "I'll show you, you good for nothing hussy!!!!" as if you could actually understand her and this wasn't a three act play you insisted on writing yourself. You weren't even sure this bear was a girl if you stopped to think about it in between punches, not that you really cared. She huffs and makes a valiant attempt to pin you as you snarl and flash your teeth and beat her right back into the creek laughing at what sounds like pathetic winging about "kids these days!!!" and how rude you are for-

A startled noise pauses your match, as you both turn, harsh glares towards a break in the thicket where a very out of place, very surprised looking man stands, hand infuriatingly poised casually at his chin. His infuriating smirk doesn't unfurl until you growl, deep and low reverberating through your opponent just enough that she decides to leave for the day while you are preoccupied.

"Oya, this is a surprise." Jade doesn't move and you stay firm in the creek, body shaking with unspent adrenaline as he decides to move just a bit closer. "If you were that desperate for a sparring partner, I'm sure Floyd would have obliged, animal abuse is not exactly legal you know?"

"What the fuck are you doing here." You spit before you exit the creek, a flash of something darting through Jade's eyes as his gaze darts between you and your pack on the ground.

"Me? I should be asking that of you. The Mountain Lover's Club had to go through quite an ordeal to get permission to leave the school grounds unsupervised..." His teeth begin to show as you crash down from your high, you hadn't actually thought of whether or not you would need to talk to someone other than a friend about where you were going... surely Riddle would have mentioned something if you did? Or did he not think to ask since he wasn't the adventurous sort? "I can't imagine how the Headmage would react to know his ward had been sneaking out to terrorize the local wildlife."

"Hey Brenda started it!" You snap and Jade looks briefly towards the treeline where a very indignant bear is pursing her lips and inspecting her claws, the very picture of innocence if he does say so himself. "She stole my sandwich while I was taking pictures of the sunset!"

"Maybe you should have had someone there to hold it for you." He laughs, finally moving from his spot towards you and your pack, eyes gleaming with familiarity as he looks over your things. "Perhaps, someone who would be willing to... forget about what he just saw if they accompanied him next time?" It's a threat using what gives you joy against you certainly, and you huff indignantly at it but don't deny his request. Jade is an eel of his word, and his joy at doubling the Mountain Lover's Club membership cannot be contained as he ushers you the rest of the way down the mountain, eager to plan your first expedition together.

Not that he intends to ever delete the pictures he took. Your angry face is just too cute.

[bombshellsandbluebells]

Jamie’s anger at his dad motivating him to be the best vs. Nate’s hurt over his dad’s apparent lack of pride in him keeping him from ever achieving his best 

Jamie remembering that his mom only ever wanted him to be happy, not the most successful, being the thing to push him in the direction of growth vs. Nate learning that his dad never wanted him to be the most successful, just wanted him to be happy being the thing that allowed Nate to leave a job and environment that wasn’t good for him EVEN if on paper it looked like a big achievement 

Jamie’s relationship with his dad causing him to become selfish and mean and only care about himself as a defense mechanism vs. Nate’s relationship with his dad destroying his self-confidence, keeping him from ever trying to stand out

both of them becoming self-centered and unhealthily obsessed with what the public thinks of them as a response to how they grew up, learning to be mean to others so they don’t feel so small themselves, caring more about their individual achievements being recognized than the good of the team, and needing to let that go 

both of them needing to find the joy in football again - for themselves, just because it makes them happy - when it no longer becomes about being the Most Important or about their relationship with their fathers

the team learning to forgive Jamie and welcome him back after he apologized for what he did and made a big gesture to show he’s trying to be better likely paving the way for the team to approach Nate and ask him to come back after he apologized and made a big gesture to Will

the fact that a father who doesn’t love you and treats you terribly and a father who does love you but doesn’t know how to show it can both fuck you in similar ways, the ways that not truly loving yourself because someone in your life made you feel small and worthless can lead to an unhealthy version of self-esteem that hurts the people around you, the fact that it’s clear with the both of them that you DO need to love yourself, but you need to love yourself for who you are, not because you’re the most talented, and that you need to learn to love yourself outside of the validation of others 

the ways that Jamie and Nate’s situations seem so different but are all wrapped up in the same issues  

[dairy-farmer]

Saw some NICE Reverse Robins Art? And just? Eldest Blood Son Damian Wayne? All the gorgeous of BOTH his parents? A man who never felt his position threatened by these younger children? But still had that oldest sibling "they're talking my Father's love and attention AWAY from me" drama? Grew up. Lost his Tim.

Was BETRAYED by his maternal family, when they brought Tim BACK, mad from the pits, and never told him. The whole alt-timeline. Edgy Red Hood Tim. Red Bird Jason. Robin Dick.

But!

Multiverse shenanigans? Who is THIS?! It's a Cannon-adjacent Tim! He's HEROICALLY sacrificed himself by tackling the megalomaniac of the decade, into the Multiverse Destroying Portal BEFORE it could fully charge! While he, said maniac, held the control panel. Thereby shutting it down.

There had been no other way.

He had expected to be ripped to molecules.

But here he is, on the sort of Shitty Roofing that can only be Gotham infrastructure. So? No time to tremble in the face of near oblivion. Gotta beat this fuckers ass so hard his ANCESTORS rethink their life choices. Tim drags himself up. And makes Gotham proud.

Which is how Darkwing (Damian's edgy self chosen name he's now stuck with until his Father retires.) Finds him. Half dead and beating up a clear Supervillian, wearing Bat gear. Good enough for Damian. He'll get answers AFTER the scoundrel in imprisoned.

Only Tim passes the fuck out.

Wakes up, in the cave, to his own? But slightly different? Face. Two things jump out. One, that God awful skunk strip Jason was permanently stuck with after the pits (that he refuses to admit, is kinda sexy). And Two, either this Tim started Testosterone WAY earlier, somehow managed to keep to all his scheduled shots dispite Superhero Craziness, OR... this lucky bastard is Cis Gendered.

Unless maybe not?

Hey, Me, pronouns. (He/Him.) Nevermind! Bastard it is! Fuck you! Why do YOU get all the luck? I have to take shots! (I DIED.) OH, boo hoo, WE'VE ALL DIED! Ya'aint special! *Tim on Tim verbal violence intensifies*

No one can tell if... they are? Bonding? Or hate each other. Someone should stop them. Unfortunately, it has to be Bruce. Which is how they learn: No, actually, he DOESN'T know what universe he's from. It's never come up before and they don't have the technology. He expected to die.

It was a one way trip.

Now they have a New/Extra Tim. There are Tim Twins. One is An Angry Bad Boy. And the other? Strangely sexy. The competence kinks are developing by the minute.

Worse, for Damian? This Tim seems... almost? Baffled? By his politeness? Seems to expect violence and aggression? And become utterly FACINATED by him, once he realizes its not coming. Damian has never been the center of someone's attention like this. Had someone hang off his every word like this. It's breeding... Thoughts he shouldn't be having.

And RR!Tim is getting jealous. That's HIM. He should be interested in HIM. THEIR shared lives. Not Mr "ooooh look at meee, the Perfect Soooon". Other Tim should be... be like his TWIN. His BROTHER. HIS other half. His!

Bruce? Hates that he sees what could have been, in this Tim. Calm and collected. Not raging and destructive. A good Detective. A perfect Robin. Dedicated to The Mission. Not the unhealing, raging, wounded animal his son has become. He wants to protect this Tim. Hold him close. Cherish him. But he also loves HIS Tim. He feels so greedy.

And Jason? It's like the Red Bird he looked up to is BACK. Not the raging monster that swings between hating him and ignoring him. Even better! This Tim looks at HIM like he's some sort of miracle! So he plays up the spunky, the cute. Crawls into his lap and chats. Gets to hang out. Be the center of his world. He... he's in LOVE. Already formulating a long term plan. Gonna marry this Tim and have a house and kids and a dog! It'll be perfect.

Baby Dick? Robin? Was EXHAUSTED trying to hold everything together. Trying to pretend he didn't notice the tensions. Play the performance of "cute baby brother" to distract and defuse. Then this Timmy came! And FIXED everything. Took Dicks job like he'd been doing it for YEARS. Smiled so pretty and perfect. Told him he didn't have to pretend.

Like he KNEW Dick. Better then anyone else.

So maybe Dick goes... a little crazy. Follows him. Smells his stuff. Wants to crawl into his bed and DO things. But! He's not the only one! Everyone is going crazy! Timmy does that to people, he's decided. But it's okay. They're TIM'S people. So it's okay if they go crazy for him.

And really? It's just a matter of who's control breaks first. Because Tim adores them but doesn't think they'd be interested. Tim is situationally dense as bricks. They love him anyway.

-🐼🐼🐼

all of them intent on this tim not realizing the tim of their universe will never let them get dibs 😩

[jessaerys]

that poll made me think of this excellent post by @magicaii re: mello’s fanon interpretation as overly emotional, and i broadly agree with all the points made, but i would also like to posit that if one subscribes to the hypothesis that mello and near grew up in a somewhat foster-sibling-like environment (which seems to already be almost universally accepted in the matt-mello relationship. is it even canon that they were roommates? it is so prevalent in the fandom that i forgot to even question it. but i digress) 

in a foster-sibling-like environment at the orphanage a certain level of childhood intimacy would be inescapable between mello and near just by virtue of growing up together: having meals together, attending the same classes, sharing caretakers and chores, being teamed up by teachers during assignments, existing in the same recreational spaces, etc. even if they were never particularly friendly with each other, they would inevitably, perhaps even unwittingly, develop some kind of understanding (“something identical in them […] something which would dart to one face, then to the other, depending on an expression or a trick of the light or the angle at which a head was cocked”) by virtue of being intellectual equals above the rest of their peers. they are, after all, foils to the L-light relationship.

in fact i find it harder to believe that they would not have interacted often at wammy’s. being slated to become and in competition for the role of L’s successor, their tutors would have set them up to push each other through special assignments/tests/projects. it is a highly effective didactic tool used in all sorts of competitive and academic environments. mello’s “you know near and i don’t get along” would be thoroughly justified: who amongst us would not hate being Assigned Partners At School with your (self-declared) nemesis!  roger knows this! he has probably threatened mello with a get-along-t-shirt! mello’s emphasis on you know is not clunky as-you-know exposition but an exasperated teenager going UGHH MOM! at a guardian that keeps refusing to acknowledge mello's protests

all of this is to say that, with this context in mind, i can imagine mello lightly “bullying”⁽¹⁾ near not because he wants to make a punching bag out of him but because in the way kids naturally learn through play and social interaction, he'd be feeling for his advantages over near (being more athletic, better with people, easier to get along with, etc) debatably he might even want to establish/prove these differences in the social hierarchy at wammy’s (given his high “social life” stats in dn13:htr) it is these differences (that near is too passive, emotionless, haughty, at least in mello’s head) which seem to frustrate mello the most, so it doesn’t strike me as out of character to think the boy who is introduced hitting someone with a ball and tugging at someone else's hair would surrender to his id⁽²⁾ and try to get a rise out of near, that he’d want to bring near down to everyone else’s “level"

and perhaps this is the shipping goggles i have on but there is something thoroughly intoxicating about being the center of attention of someone who you passionately resent when you are undoubtedly on top.⁽³⁾ you could argue mello subconsciously desires near’s admiration and either refuses to see it whenever it is there (“near told me i did good job, the condescending dick”) or near is absolute shit at communicating it (“your thought process in this essay was almost impossible to follow” <- badly worded compliment), so mello veers for the next best thing: near’s attention. much like with a bad cat, negative attention is still attention, and on god he is getting his fix of being so fucking annoying (look at me, why won't you look at me!) wherever he can get it

-

⁽¹⁾ie. wrestling him down in the playground, toppling over his towers, hiding favorite toys, pulling his hair, locking him in closets etc. nothing life-threatening or overly painful; the mean teasing of a resentful older brother, not the harassing of a bloodthirsty middle school terrorist 

⁽²⁾especially when they are younger mello would have far less developed self control lol. by the time we first meet them, at 13 and 15, this light bullying would've been largely a thing of the past, with mello becoming gradually more distant around the time he transitions into brooding teenagehood while near is still a kid, which would've made leaving wammy's far easier (i also think that mello would firmly believe that he has earned the right to bother near while everyone else has not and he WILL be fighting them about it. only he can mess with near, thank you very much. typical older brother behavior. but this post is already too long)

⁽³⁾ no. i shan't say it

[nqueso-emergency]

Their obsession with the concept of Catholic guilt is about on par with their obsession with unhealthy behaviors (codependency and self harm/suicide). They romanticize the ideas of them and it’s really fucking gross.

Also as someone who grew up as Catholic (from the Midwest so it’s not quite the same as Eddie). The way they immediately connect Catholic guilt to queerness and gay Eddie is both amusing and baffling to me. I get that I was never super into religion and that shapes how I view Catholic guilt but to me Catholic guilt is like the guilt of existing. No matter what you do you’re basically not good enough. Negative I know, but that’s how it felt to me. Even if you follow everything to the tee, it’s still not enough to feel like you’re good enough for their expectations.

Like sure if you really believe in the faith and you happen to be queer the guilt can be about that. But that’s blatantly not the case for Eddie. Like how many times do they have to put it out front and center that this is all about Shannon. He fucked up big time, cheated on his girlfriend, traumatized his son. There’s a lot of things there to feel guilt about.

This this this

[fairuzfan]

Tbh this may just be me but my patience for certain people getting mad at being accused of being zionists, and specifically pointing at how they have said that they want Peace and Freedom and it's important to focus on the Humanity of People has become fucking negative (which is all different from when Bibi says he's securing Peace and Freedom as he focuses on the Humanity of Israelis, I guess. Or any time the US has tried it in Pick Your War).

Either explain your material goals or accept that people will get mad at you when you refuse to elaborate on your puddle-deep statements. Politics is material conditions all the way down and the current material conditions are that Palestinians are being massacred by a genocidal state whose heads have repeatedly affirmed that intent!

Badly paraphrasing Kwame Ture here, but any analysis that excludes the oppressor will blame the oppression. The presumption of a need to make Both Sides Understand And Communicate assumes that Palestinians hold significant structural power here and have the ability to come to some theoretical political table—that they are thus doing this, effectively, to themselves, because they don't prioritize Humanity and Peace and Freedom enough. That's what good vibes politics gets you.

(I am so sorry for this being long, I am just, so furious with it, especially after I learned today that an old classmate was hurt by former IOF soldiers w/skunk spray during the Columbia University SJP protest. Just. Goddamn.)

I think you put it into words really well in that there are no material analysis of actual concrete steps theyre providing or stating that Palestinians haven't already said better and more often and they tend to pass it off as their own ideologies rather than... you know... recognizing Palestinians have been fighting this fight for 3-4 generations. Like a guarantee you any discussion you've had we've already had amongst ourselves. So like actively excluding us from those discussions — which is nothing new btw we've always been excluded from them but this time it's easier to push back — is in fact doing harm and refusing us a way to advocate for ourselves.

Truly I've seen it all — there is no way to "peacefully" live under occupation and subjugation for Palestinians. Like no, man that doesn't exist. Even within Israel, Palestinians aren't referred to as "Palestinians" they are referred to as "Arab Israelis" like we cannot even claim ourselves as Palestinians.

You have to acknowledge that at a certain point you yourself are contributing to the dangerous atmosphere by making everything "too complex" to get anything done. I remember there was a talk with Amjad Iraqi (a contributor to al-shabaka who grew up in israel but is palestinian) and another podcaster who is... peak liberal zionist lol but i listened to it cuz amjad was there — that the Podcaster was saying (paraphrasing) "there's an equilibrium of 'freedom' for Palestinians and 'security' for Israelis, and one side pushes the other side further and further away from the center where they could meet so how to you think we reconcile differences" and amjad responds in a way that I admire (paraphrasing) in that he mentions that from the beginning of this equation, zionism has always had the upper hand in that all their demands have been met and self determination for Palestinians have never been recognized (end paraphrase) so it's not equal to say "well we want peace for both Palestinians and israelis so let's block off Palestinians from discussing definitions for these terms" that fundamentally impact them in ways they will never impact nonpalestinians who would BENEFIT from maintaining the status quo.

Within the article from Alma they say "do something vulnerable and ask the other person what their definition of zionism/antizionism is" as if there aren't very transparent people in this world that want "peace" and don't want a ceasefire. Like that's actually the predominant opinion in the world. They straight up say "the only peace in the middle east is if we get rid of hamas so we can't allow a ceasefire" and people run by that definition and say "sorry Palestinians :( we gotta get rid of hamas :( there's nothing we can do about this.... its for peace :("

So I think you're doing far more harm by pretending there's a cognitive difference between zionist and antizionists that theyre just not communicating, which, zionists are very obvious about communicating (which also, it's necessary to boost Palestinians when defining antizionism in this case because when we point out the very real harm of things affecting us we would like a say in how people define the movement meant for our liberation). But the article never said that throughout the entire thing. It just said "maybe you guys have a cognitive dissonance of words" but like.... at this point, if you still ally yourself under the term "zionist" with literally all we have been screaming these past few months then no, I don't think you're necessarily operating in good faith.

And like I don't think tri*utary is a zionist necessarily but they're certainly a zionist sympathizer and like I don't trust them either.

[softdykellie]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ motion sickness part ii | ellie w.

previous part here | next part here soon

PAIRING: modern!ellie x fem!reader

SUMMARY: having grown up together, everyone knew eachother in jackson. when a brooding newcomer owner to a tattoo shop comes along apparently charming her friendly florist neighbor things seem to take a turn.

WARNING: alternative universe! purposefully all lower case. multiple part series. not a very eventful beginning as ellie’s relationship with reader is slow burn but it will start evolving after this one seriously trust me!

WORD COUNT: 632

ellie. you tasted her name on your tongue and melted into the feeling, flushed. dina had certainly manifested her wishes into fruition, you thought. stared at the girl for way too long, getting familiar with her features and vacant gaze towards the alcohol filled shelves against the main bar wall, freckles like starry war paint, eyebrow scar, pale green iris, peach pink lips, auburn hair gently brushing her shoulder at length. breathtaking, you immediately named the feeling, but she looked worn, tossed around. you blamed it on the bruised eye, caught onto sky grey vibes.

a silly game blossomed into your heart years ago, the inspiration for your flower shop really: how everyone you meet could be described by the floral language. dina thought hers too common, but it was your favorite, a daisy, standing for loyal love and “i’ll never tell”. jesse, a white jasmin, sweet love, amiability. even abby, coriander. you did not know the girl at all, but you saw red carnations grow behind her in the way spiritualists would claim to see auras. red carnations; “my heart aches”.

“flower shop girl, yes, that’d be me”

“cute” she mumbled sipping on the beer dina had given her before promptly pretending to be busy elsewhere though noticebly eavesdropping.

“you’ve got a lot of tattoos on you” jesse pointed matter of factly, earning a chuckle “perks of the job?”

“the job” ellie repeated his words in light humor as if minimizing her own career with the sound “yeah, i guess. you want one?”

“fuck, yeah! maybe a dragon up my back or or you know a snake, i don’t know, what do you usually draw?”

“pretty things” she answered before taking you off guard with a head movement that pointed you out amongst them all “like her” she twisted her body around to meet your face “what would you get, flower girl? roses?”

“the sun” you answered “what does that say about me?”

ellie smiled a weak smile, raising the sleeve of her grey t-shirt to expose a beaming sun by her bicep, detailed sad expression in black ink across its center. you took notice of everything. ferns and a moth grew from her hand to the very end of her forearm and covered scars you could only assume to have been self inflicted. a sword pierced through the spare space of skin next to a phoenix and finally angel wings alongside a well hidden initial: J. you wouldn’t ask, but you wanted to.

“trying to figure that out myself”

you hadn’t noticed when abby left, only that she was gone when a couple dollars slipped past you towards the ground from the countertops, extra tips for dina. you wanted her extroverted ways to carry the conversation, ask the newcomer about the altercation, but she seemed to enjoy playing dutiful dedicated owner more. small talk failed you, and ellie was uninterested.

you planned out your next meeting in your head, showing up with cookies as they do in the movies, catching glimpses of her sketches on the wall, giving them backstories to fill the gaps. it wasn’t so strange to be eager as you were taking into consideration how rare these opportunities had presented themselves: you never left jackson, not even on vacation. the world was meant to turn on its axis but you were destined to stay still, an agoraphobia rooted into your veins like movement would burst your chest open, bloody and broken. the flowers had been a therapist’s idea: to take care of something innocent as a purpose, exist outside the shell of a body you painfully cared for in pure obligation. your personal garden arsenal though, had meaning. yellow tulips, that’s what you were. the flower for unrequited love. the one tattooed by ellie’s hipbone you were yet to see.

[getinthefuckingcarkitten]

I wrote this a while ago for @dol-dee because deevery dynamics made me insane. Both Dee and the concept of smarmy butch!Avery belong to them! No content warnings this time!

The sound of her fist connecting to Avery’s face was briefly satisfying, at least until reality set in as Avery flinched away, cursing out in a most undignified way, clutching the side of her face. She didn’t even look back at Dee, averting her gaze from what was likely shame at being put down so fast, though that raw, blackened anger from earlier was still not far behind it. 

It wasn’t Dee’s smartest idea to pointedly avoid Avery’s (many) offers to ride to and back from school, but she really just didn’t want all that attention on her if she pulled up in such a fancy car. After so many lousy excuses to decline, she’d expect Avery to take the hint.

Well, she didn’t expect Avery to pull up besides her and Robin when they were already halfway back to the orphanage. Judging by her pressed suit, simple and functional rather than the fancier choices Dee had seen her in, she was just coming back from work, though it was a bit late now. Avery just wanted to talk, or at least that’s what she had told Dee, who looked around hesitantly and breathed in what could have been relief as she didn’t see anyone from school nearby, sending Robin back home alone with a pat on the head before getting into the car.

And talk they did, to be fair, at least until Dee grew annoyed by the barely hidden hostility in Avery’s tone, letting out a half-growl as she made it clear that whatever the fuck she did with her time outside of their dates was none of her business, anyway, or something like that. Then, as Avery’s hand unexpectedly found it’s way to the back of her head, fisting at her hair before pulling hard, trying to bring Dee down by a leash like a disobedient dog, her vision went red. 

The fight was over before it really started, with Avery being smart enough to realize she wasn’t going to win when a single punch threw her off like that. But then Dee had another problem, her heart racing as she realized their thing would likely also be over after the scuffle. 

It wasn’t that she particularly liked Avery. Well, she was attractive, for sure, and charming enough at first, but otherwise… Clearly too self-centered to see beyond what she wanted in the moment, or maybe she just enjoyed pushing Dee around like that. Having her at her beck and call, it must have made her feel powerful. Either way, it was an uncomfortable affair, one where Dee felt like she had to make herself smaller to not bruise that woman’s ego. But, there was the money. 

Money made the world go around, of course, but also it paid for Dee’s “rent” and kept her and Robin out of trouble with bigger sharks. She didn’t need to like Avery to like her money, and Dee could tolerate some egotistical behavior for a good wad of cash. That is, at least until a certain line was crossed. Or so Dee had told herself, before. Right now, she wasn’t so sure. The day after tomorrow, Bailey’s threats would press like a knife against her neck, and the slightest difference between what was asked for and what she could hand out could mean trouble. Even worse, her and Robin’s neck. Robin would never be able to withstand Avery. 

“Avery-” Dee tried, but Avery shot her a withering glare, her usually perfectly combed hair in disarray framing her rage.

“Get out.” Avery barked at her through clenched teeth. “Get the fuck out.”

It was over. It was so over. Dee leaned back on the car seat, considering her options. Avery couldn’t just kick her out. It couldn’t be over before she got rid of Bailey and her threats and her “clientele”. 

“Look,” She leaned towards Avery, making sure to push her chest out, stretching the white fabric of the school shirt taut against her skin. “I’m sorry, okay?”

It pained her to say that. She wasn’t sorry, and Avery shouldn’t think she could do as she pleased just because she had some money, but right now Dee needed that fucking money badly.

Avery’s face was still twisted in a frown, but her gaze predictably traveled downwards. Still, she just scoffed at Dee.

“You’re sorry, huh?” Avery looked like she was more interested in retributing the punch than anything else. Well, tough luck. At least now she was aware it’d be a bad idea.

“You scared me.” Dee insisted, her voice growing a bit softer, a bit more like she’d be pliant enough to apologize better if Avery gave her a chance. One damn chance to not lose her bag. “It was like a reflex. In this town, you know how it is…”

Avery wasn’t buying it for even a second, but that was okay. Dee didn’t need her to buy it, she just needed Avery to forgive her somehow.

The stretch of time between Dee’s obvious excuse and Avery quirking up one of her likely weekly trimmed brows felt like forever. Almost as if Dee was already being punished. Then, finally, she saw Avery’s mouth curve in one of those annoyingly smug smirks of hers.

“Very well.” Avery boldly put her hand right behind Dee’s head again, tightening her hold shortly after. It was much slower, this time, as if she was testing the waters. Provoking to see if Dee would dare to do it again, the purplish bruising around her eye not taking away from her smugness in the least.

To her lack of a reaction, Avery chuckled.

“Are you going to kiss it better, doll?” She asked, her sour mood overshadowed by lust. Despite that, Dee knew that her temper could resurface at any moment. Best to play it cute.

So she leaned forward, pressing a kiss to waiting lips. It was a bit of a tease, really, not even a real kiss yet, but Avery was the kind that had to be kept strung on a line or else she’d just take what she wanted, and Dee didn’t like that much. As Avery predictably leaned in for another kiss, Dee pulled back, feeling the tightening of the grip on the back of her head.

It was probably a bad idea to tell Avery to calm down, but goddamn it, she’d get to it. She always did, even when she wasn’t really feeling like it. But… Right now, as Avery looked less put together than ever, her hair falling wildly over the dark purple blooming around her eye and a smirk with an almost feral quality to it, Dee was slowly getting more and more into it. It made her feel sort of powerful, when she could bring down someone like Avery to a more level playing field. Not that she could ever admit to it to anyone else. No, it was better to let Avery think that she was just truly sorry for bashing her face in, and she could apologize how she liked it best, yeah. 

It was easy enough for her to overpower Avery in this state, anyway, and the older woman didn’t protest as Dee pushed her back on the seat, giving her a proper kiss this time. Her chest pressed against Avery’s when she leaned in, and by then she was already sure she’d won even before confirming it by pressing her palm against the front of Avery’s trousers. 

This time, Avery stopped her as she pulled away, growing more desperate.

“You’ll finish what you started.” Though her voice was commanding, Dee couldn’t help the smirk that crept into her face.

“Don’t push it.” She warned, though she wasn’t even mad. It would just be very easy for her to get out now and leave Avery hanging if she kept trying to force her way through. She was lucky Dee needed money. Well, money and the fact that she was hot enough for Dee to enjoy their games, as much as no one could ever torture that confession out of her. 

“You’re too much of a tease.” Avery’s gruffness couldn’t hope to overpower how lustful she looked. Almost begging for release. One of these days, maybe Dee would get to see her beg.

For now, she’d have to make do with just being as maliciously compliant as she could. Shifting away from Avery right before their lips could meet again, Dee bent down the best she could. The car wasn’t exactly small, but the position would never not be awkward and she had to shift around a bit until she could hold onto Avery’s seat to stabilize. Avery’s low chuckle at that had her huffing, but soon she wouldn’t be laughing anymore.

As soon as she undid the fly of her pants, Avery’s fully erect cock greeted her at once, the tip of it leaking a bit of pre-cum. It was Dee’s turn to poke fun at her, at least a little bit.

“You’re already this worked up?” She teased, not before letting her fingertips ghost over the length, just to watch Avery inhale sharply before she could think to respond.

“Shut up.” Avery replied between clenched teeth, her impatience rearing it’s head again.

“I can keep my mouth shut if you just let me work.” Dee stated, matter of factly. Avery didn’t like that one bit, but her glare was enough of an incentive for now. There was a thin line for Dee between not letting herself be pushed around and risking displeasing Avery too much.

Wrapping her hand around the length of Avery’s cock, Dee slowly moved up and down, enjoying the slight twitch of Avery’s hips, likely controlling herself to not buckle into Dee’s hand on her own, desperate as she was. What a gentlewoman. Well, Dee could at least reward some good behavior for once, picking up speed, her hand helping spread the pre-cum over the shaft to smoothen things. 

Avery’s breathing was definitely the loudest sound in the car right now, occasionally cut by almost-stifled moaning. It was hard to deny that those sounds were getting Dee excited, too, the sound of her success. She didn’t budge when she felt Avery’s hand on the back of her head again, this time less of a despotical command and more of a request. She could do requests, and soon her lips met the tip alongside her hand before she parted them to give her a few short licks. Avery’s hips jerked slightly again, and Dee could only bite back laughter, seeing her struggle like that. She knew what Avery really wanted, after all, but Dee really wasn’t in the mood for tender caressing. 

As she proceeded to envelop Avery’s cock in her mouth, the moans above her got louder, making Dee hesitate for a brief second. They were sort of in public, after all, even if the car had windows tinted so dark it was almost impossible to see inside. It wasn’t as if she could stop now. It was a delicate balancing game, the one she played with Avery, and she didn’t want to lose it all now. Her pulse quickened as she took in more and more of the length, Avery’s hand perhaps not unintentionally pushing her head down further. She was careful to not slack off with her hand, keeping up the pace as her head bobbed up and down, the smeared spit now helping her go faster and faster.

She could feel Avery’s grip tightening a bit, her hips subtly moving back and forth as her control faltered. She was close, Dee could tell. Well, a few more squeezes and she didn’t care much if it stained Avery’s expensive suit-

Without warning, Avery pushed her down at once, buckling her hips into Dee’s face at the same time. With no time to react, she ended up choking on a load of cum, shot down her throat as Avery laughed. When her grip easened, Dee shot up, anger boiling inside as she coughed from how sudden it was. She had half a mind to just punch Avery again, but after one or two deep inhales, she figured it was a bit naive to let herself think she’d be on top until the end. And besides, if she punched Avery, she’d just have to do the song and dance all over again. With a huff and a sigh, she leaned back on her seat, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

Avery seemed to have been greatly amused by her reaction, not even caring much that there was now a dark, wet stain on her fancy trousers as she pulled them back up. 

“Should i drop you at home?” Avery asked after a brief silence, hers blissful, Dee’s more resentful. 

“No, just kick me onto the pavement and i’ll walk.” Dee grumbled. Had Avery still been as angry as she was before, she might have done just that for that sort of response, but considering the lengths Dee went to please, she just chuckled and turned on the car. 

The drive back home was mostly quiet. Dee’s anger fizzled out as she looked out the window. Well, at least she did get to land a punch once. How many people could say they punched Avery and didn’t get run over or something? All it costed was a little blowjob. A small price to pay, really. And on top of that, despite the black eye, Avery looked really happy. So she could both say she punched Avery and made her like it, in a sense. 

As they came to a stop in front of the orphanage, Dee actually hesitated before climbing out. It was Saturday tomorrow, after all.

“Should i expect to see you tomorrow, or are you going to study in the library all day again?” Avery finally asked, though not without jabbing at one of Dee’s most frequent excuses for avoiding the rides back from school. It only made her roll her eyes at the pettiness.

“If you want to see me tomorrow, you know you just have to make an invite.” Dee replied, nonchalant. What could she do, refuse and have to deal with Bailey’s unpredictable games? It was better the devil you knew, after all.

But Avery gave her a smile. Yes, she did look messy and bruised like she just got off a scuffle in some parking lot, not at all like her usual overly-polished self, but maybe that was making the smile seem a bit more… Sincere, almost. It made Dee wonder if she could have felt something real between them if Avery was’t such a smarmy, two-faced sort.

She didn’t want to think much about that, however, and then she climbed out of the car. Avery watched her for a moment before driving away, and just like that, things were back on track and rent would be paid in due time. 

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

omg I never see anyone talking about fukuzawa and kunikidas background but I agree with you so much I think he met him as a teenager if not younger. I've always liked to think that kunikidas parents know fukuzawa somehow and he kinda grew up knowing him. kunikidas whole background and family is such a mystery it drives me crazy

DUDE SAME HOLY SHIT I'm so curious about Kunikida's background because!! We know!! So little!! Like the only reason we know he used to be a math teacher is because he was literally working as one when Dazai's entrance exam happened - what was he doing before?? How did he discover he has an Ability?? Considering it's basically canon Abilities come from trauma, what even happened to him so his own manifested?

People talk about how Dazai is so careful on what he tells the agency but ngl, the agency know jack fucking shit about each other lmao. It's not just Dazai - we still have no clue what the fuck is up with the Tanizaki siblings or how Kunikida joined the agency. No one knew about Yosano's backstory before she shared it with Tanizaki and Kenji sans Ranpo and Fukuzawa because they RESCUED HER. Its confirmed no one sans Ranpo and Fukuzawa (possibly Yosano) know how the agency was founded in Untold Origins; and so much around Kenji is a mystery as well. We know about Atsushi because of his trauma dumping (as he deserves) and Kyouka because her joining the agency was so dramatic - everyone else though is far from an open book. Especially Kunikida.

Also - Kunikida's so fucking WEIRD, right?? Like people talk about him like he's the 'sane' one of the agency, but that's just because he's next to Dazai fucking Osamu, who makes anyone look normal. Kunikida is way too down with violence - hell, the first appearance we get of him he pins a starving orphan to the floor, it's noted he's not allowed to ask questions to clients because he gets violent, and he's told to cool it by Dazai of all people. Like?? He's passively suicidal with a HUGE guilt complex, and like, that obsession with his ideals can't come from nowhere. Like Kunikida's commitment to his ideals to the point of self destruction is shown to be bad for him, the center of his character and his flaws, so where does something like that come from? People also skip over the specifics of his moral code - because that's not clear cut either lmao. He breaks into weather stations because they reported wrong, steals cars when people have insurance, is just kinda like -_- when Atsushi and Kyouka are in danger in the start of the manga, and really, he's just... his morals don't align with the law. Period. Nor do they seem simple, despite how people want to read him.

So how the FUCK did that happen?

Because like I said, we know so little about Kunikida!

I really like the idea you said, about Kunikida having grown up knowing Fukuzawa! That's definitely interesting, I don't think I've heard that. It would make sense if Fukuzawa started training Kunikida early - because he's way too good for someone who started training at say, 18. In Dazai's Entrance Exam he wipes the floor with an opponent who has a significant weight and size advantage over him, and I actually think he could match Chuuya in terms of pure martial arts (maybe not beat, but it would definitely be a close fight without Abilities). That's too good for someone who only started training hardcore when he hit adulthood.

Also - I think Fukuzawa was the one who gave Kunikida his Ideals notebook. I don't think he was there when his Ability manifested or anything, but I do think he was the one who gave Kunikida that direction, that sense of purpose. It makes sense to me - Kunikida's dislikes have authority listed (considering the author irl, that makes sense), and he's got one of the most vulgar speech patterns in the series and comparatively rarely uses honorifics... yet he respects Fukuzawa so much?? He defers to him so much?? He's his successor, outright stated? What caused that type of loyalty, that type of deference?

Was Kunikida the first person to take an entrance exam, considering the agency was started for Ranpo and Yosano definitely didn't? What was his even like?? WHY did they make him the first one to take it, if he did?

Idk, I REALLY hope we get more on Kunikida's backstory soon. There's so much that's implied, and at the least I hope we get more on his relationship with Fukuzawa.